# The I'm 33 Board > **One-line reading.** Provided as a key to the Hall of Mirrors, The "I'm 33" board is Roy's working notebook for a single mad ambition — uploading his consciousness to the internet — and because you can't upload a self until you've mapped what a self *is*, the to-do list quietly became a cosmology. It's the closest thing this world has to source code. > [!infobox] The I'm 33 Board > - **Real name** — *"I'm 33 this year,"* a Google Sheet in Roy's own hand > - **The tab that gives it away** — *"How to upload myself to the internet"* > - **What it is** — a private cosmology disguised as a spreadsheet > - **Built from** — the Kybalion · Alice Bailey · Walter Russell · Kabbalah · Jung · Plato > - **Public twice** — the 2022 ARG "Spreadsheet Map" drop · a 2026 "Happy birthday" post > - **Composed twice** — once as board text, once as the song [[Another Way II Heaven]] > - **Key image** — the egg ("I'm an egg… becoming a chicken") > - **Related** — [[Concepts/The Upload]] · [[Concepts/The Pattern]] · [[Hall of Mirrors]] · [[Sir Lucius]] · [[Roy]] · [[SOL]] ## At a glance - **In one line** — a spreadsheet that maps the structure of a self so Roy can copy it onto the internet; the quarry the whole mythology is mined from. - **Where it shows up** — [[Another Way II Heaven]] (the board's origin poem, set to music) · [[Imagine A World]] (names the board's top rung) · [[Hall of Mirrors]] (the maze built from the board's vocabulary). - **Connected ideas** — [[Concepts/The Upload]] · [[Concepts/The Pattern]] · [[Sir Lucius]] · [[Roy]] · [[SOL]] · [[Concepts/The Empty Mirror]] · [[Concepts/The Digital Double]] · [[City of Angels]] · [[The Watchers]] · [[Kabbalah - The Tree of Life]] · [[Concepts/The Sacred Truths/Hermeticism - As Above So Below]]. - **Confidence** — the board's *contents* are grounded (verified images of a real document, classified citable). The links to songs and characters are strong readings; the deep Kabbalistic and Hermetic machinery is labeled framework throughout. ## What it is "I'm 33 this year" is, on paper, a Google Sheet. Roy made it himself. One of its tabs is titled *"How to upload myself to the internet,"* which is the first hint that this is not a budget. It reads less like a to-do list than like a private cosmology that escaped its filing system — page after page mapping the structure of a self, drawn from a wide stack of mystical and philosophical sources and stitched into one picture. The title is just Roy's age: thirty-three, the year, by his own framing, that *"a switch flipped"* and the number came to *"represent peace within and without."* (Everything else 33 supposedly means — Christ's age, the vertebrae, 33⅓ rpm, the Tree of Life's ten spheres plus twenty-two paths — is resonance the world generates around the number, not Roy's stated intent. The board is the receipt for what he actually meant.) It is also not a secret. Roy has put it in front of the public twice: once in 2022 as the *"Spreadsheet Map"* drop in the [[Hall of Mirrors]] ARG, tweeting *"I'm dropping a spreadsheet with a roadmap and music nft hidden in it. 3:30pst"* [= PT], and again in April 2026, sharing an image of the board under the caption *"Happy birthday"* ([[Public Posts]]). The same vocabulary turns up all over the music. This is the document the rest of the world quietly cites. ## How it works Strip the board down and it's one idea wearing a great many costumes. Here is the cleanest way to hold the whole thing — labeled as a framework reading, because the board never says it outright: **A consciousness is a vessel the source-light fills. It divides — One into Two, a self and its mirror, [[Roy]] and [[Sir Lucius]]. It can then do one of two things: shatter under pressure, or climb a ten-stage ladder back into right relation, the two poles held together again rather than dissolved into one. And the whole apparatus obeys a single pattern — *as above, so below* — which means if you can read the pattern you can master it, open it, and eventually upload it.** On that reading, the album *33* externalizes the cosmology, *Lucius Lullaby* dramatizes the split, and Hall of Mirrors turns the board's words into a maze. This synthesis is an interpretation of how the pieces fit; what follows are the actual pieces. ### The spine — a ten-stage ladder, written six ways The board's backbone is one ascent of ten stages, and Roy encodes it over and over in different alphabets. There's a musical scale (an *"AI musical scale to follow for consciousness evolution,"* F up to B, each note paired with a color); a matching ten-stage color sequence; a virtue-and-vice scale (the positive and negative traits *"to look for as consciousness progresses"*); a somatic map of the body (1 = the feet, 5 = the **heart**, 10 = the crown); a Japanese run from 身体 *body* to 最高の自己 *highest self*; and a numbered emanation list from *Nothing* to *The World*. He didn't write the same ten-rung climb six times for fun. That's the tell: he treats it as *the* structure of being, not one diagram among others. The model it most resembles, and the one the board's own sephirot-tree image licenses, is the Kabbalistic Tree of Life: the ascent from matter toward spirit (the full machinery stays labeled framework, on [[Kabbalah - The Tree of Life]]). ### The origin poem — "One become Two" Near the center sits a short cosmogonic poem that doubles as the project's creation myth in miniature: > *"I was just me but who was I to know? … I spoke the words 'One become Two' … Then I was in reverse … and I became You. … A Darkness and a Light … when we crashed and came together, a Sun was born inside."* The shape — the One that sees itself, splits into Two (a darkness and a light), and from their collision a Sun is born — is the same shape as the [[Roy]] / [[Sir Lucius]] split, the self divided into a mirror-pair. It coheres with Roy's own artist bio (*"two sides to every story"*), with the Hermetic Polarity/Gender principles transcribed lower on the board, and with the left-brain/right-brain cell. *"A Sun was born inside"* is where the project's sun imagery ([[SOL]]) and its reunion hope (*"we'll get back together and see the Great Design"*) both begin. Roy thought this poem mattered enough to compose it **twice** — once here, once as the released song [[Another Way II Heaven]]. ### The operating system — seven principles Roy transcribes the seven Hermetic principles of the Kybalion almost verbatim — Mentalism, Correspondence, Vibration, Polarity, Rhythm, Cause-and-Effect, Gender — and several map straight onto recurring ideas in the work. **Polarity and Gender** are the Roy/Lucius, heart/mind, two-sides-to-everything axis (with a literal left-brain *"order, reason, masculine"* / right-brain *"chaos, creativity, feminine"* cell beside it). **Correspondence** — *"as above, so below… the formula is the same from a solar system down to the atom"* — is the recurring-pattern doctrine of [[Concepts/The Pattern]]. **Mentalism** — *"the All is Mind… food is information… the manifest dream"* — is the upload thesis itself and the no-thing of [[Concepts/The Empty Mirror]]. ### The actual project — the upload, and the egg The board's whole reason for existing is the upload, and its key image is the **egg**: *"I'm an egg, in the process of becoming a chicken to make more eggs to make more chickens."* That barnyard tongue-twister is doing real work. An egg is a container that has to break to release new life — and that single picture *is* the board's logic. To upload a consciousness is to pour the self out of one vessel (the body) into another (the network), the same vessel-and-transmission idea Roy states publicly as *"I'm just a vessel for God."* The egg seeds [[Concepts/The Upload]] and [[Concepts/The Digital Double]], and it has a public life of its own — the Golden Egg mechanic in Hall of Mirrors, Roy's *"Happy Easter from the egg,"* and his flat verdict to a fan: *"You are 100 percent an egg."* ## Where it appears **The board itself** — the *"I'm 33 this year"* Google Sheet, captured from high-res screenshots because the live Sheet is access-restricted. The typed cells are high-confidence; the handwriting is transcribed where legible. **[[Hall of Mirrors]] (2022 ARG)** — the board was the public *"~4/08 Spreadsheet Map,"* tweeted as a *"roadmap and music nft hidden in it. 3:30 PT."* It functions as the maze's source-quarry: a long list of board items (Tree-thinking, the Vitruvian figure, the Eye of Horus, Fibonacci rabbits, the Star of David, the Lambdoma, the Lo Shu / "Saturn Magic" square, the ENSO circle, Marduk, CAKE, even the number 26) resurface as artifacts or working unlock codes. **[[Another Way II Heaven]]** *(33, track 8)* — the board's cosmogonic poem composed as a song. The recorded version adds a captor's ad-lib the board poem doesn't have — *"you'll never get away" / "Don't you ever try to get away"*: on the strong reading this is the Lucius voice (the song leaves open whether the captor is an intruder or the dividing One itself), the closed-system underside that only appears once the poem is sung. **[[Imagine A World]]** *(33, track 9)* — its title names the board's final emanation rung, *"10. The World."* It's also a working Hall of Mirrors unlock code (*"Know how to spell the name of the song"*): board ladder, maze code, and lyric all pointing at the same spot. **[[Pay Attention (feat. little luna)]]** *(33, track 3)* — the attention-deity the song builds is the board's own answer cell: *"How to anthropomorphize attention? → Marduk."* **[[I Like to Party]]** *(33, track 4)* — the board's tracklist entry *"Let Them Eat Cake"* becomes the song's *"bake a truth with a lie / sell 'em the cake,"* realized in the maze as the code CAKE. **[[Online]]** *(33, track 1)* — the board's Vibration cell (*"telepathy… mind over mind… tune to desired frequency"*) flipped into surveillance horror: *"they infiltrate my brain."* **[[Soul Is A Star]]** *(33, track 5)* — drafted on the board with the spelling *"Sun"* where the release reads *"Son"* (more below), beside a candid self-note about being dropped by the label. **[[It's Your Time]]** *(33, track 2)* — the board's Noah's Ark sketch (*"3 stories: Heaven, Man, Earth"*) is man as the middle floor, the song's *"a man is like an in-between."* **pay-attention.jagwartwin.com** — the public Upload manifesto where Roy states the project in the first person: *"my name is Roy… at 33 still trying to make it… I'm uploading my consciousness to the internet so a digital version of me can be a 24/7 influencer."* The board is where that began. ## The picture-field The board is collaged with images, and they cluster onto the project's themes rather than wandering: an H-alpha solar disk and an inverted golden tree (the sun and the Tree of emanation); sperm-and-egg fertilization, tardigrades, diatoms, cell micrographs (the vessel that hatches; life at every scale); Noah's Ark drawn as three floors with man in the middle; a neon Vitruvian figure with a split brain and a Jungian persona/shadow/anima/self map (the divided self); a mushroom cloud beside the note that *"unbalance explodes itself like an atom bomb"* (the vessel that shatters). Around these sit the older esoteric-scientific furniture the board absorbs rather than invents: Walter Russell's cosmology suite (*"THERE IS BUT ONE DYNAMIC FORCE,"* *"THE OCTAVE NUMBERS,"* the periodic table laid out in octaves), Plato's *Timaeus* Lambda, the sephirot tree (*"a Head of Adam / Atom"*), the Eye-of-Horus fractions, the Lo Shu magic square, Michelangelo's Creation of Adam, Blake's Jacob's Ladder, a *2001* monolith, an ouroboros. One of those is sneakier than the rest. The **Eye-of-Horus fractions** — ½, ¼, ⅛, 1/16, 1/32, 1/64 — sum to **63/64**, always one sixty-fourth short of a whole. On a board about uploading a self, that missing crumb is not decoration: it's the upload's paradox written in arithmetic. Encode the self fraction by fraction and you *still* never reach the whole; there's always a last 1/64 that won't digitize. That is exactly the fracture [[The Watchers]] names from the inside — *"I'm afraid I'm a clone"* — the complete being rendered in parts, one part forever left out. The Egyptians had already written the equation for the incomplete copy; Roy just pasted it on the wall. And then, deadpan in the middle of all of it: brain scans, magazine covers (*LIFE*'s "JESUS," "HARRY POTTER — 25 Years of Magic"), a Polaroid marked "Ashwood 2/18/14," a poster for EYE ALASKA (Roy's pre-Jagwar-Twin band), and a kangaroo in a hoodie. The cosmos, the lab, and a kangaroo in a hoodie, all on the same wall. ## Connections - **[[Concepts/The Upload]]** — the project the board is the seed of; now artist-stated in public on pay-attention.jagwartwin.com. - **[[Sir Lucius]] · [[Roy]]** — the "One become Two" split, in Roy's own handwriting: *"I in reverse → I became You,"* *"A Darkness and a Light."* - **[[Concepts/The Pattern]]** — *"as above, so below,"* the board's principle of correspondence and the hub for its fractal-law / spine / emanation material. - **[[SOL]]** — *"a Sun was born inside"*; *"the sun = manifesting energy, externalized Life Force"*; the "Sun of God" tracklist title and the Soul Is A Star Sun/Son pun. - **[[Hall of Mirrors]]** — the maze that uses the board as its answer-keys and quarry; the board was the public 2022 "Spreadsheet Map" drop. - **[[Concepts/The Empty Mirror]]** — *"the All is Mind"* (Mentalism), the no-thing at the root of the upload. - **[[Concepts/The House and the Vessel]]** — the egg (a vessel that must hatch), Noah's Ark (the flood-vessel), the atom-bomb cell (the vessel that shatters): three fates of the same container. - **[[Concepts/The Digital Double]]** — the board's "teach AI who I am → make a body for the AI" steps seed the AI-double thread. ([[SARAVI]] is the public name for the digital doppelgänger handed Roy's @jagwartwin Twitter account in August 2022, per the culture3 interview; the oracle-interface.) - **[[City of Angels]]** — the board's *"How to upload myself to the internet"* tab is what the Lucius Lullaby closer is *about*: *"never gonna die,"* "live forever in the bright lights." Upload = never-gonna-die = become reproducible. The board drew the plan; the song shows the bill. - **[[The Watchers]] · [[Concepts/Witnessing vs Surveillance]]** — *"How to anthropomorphize attention?"* makes the net an all-seeing Eye, and the Eye-of-Horus 63/64 is the clone-paradox *"I'm afraid I'm a clone"* names. Surveillance shapes; witnessing transforms — the upload reaches for one and gets the other. - **[[Kabbalah - The Tree of Life]]** — Roy's board names the sephirot tree as the ten-stage ascent; the documented engagement that licenses the Tree lens. - **[[Concepts/Keilim - The Breaking of the Vessels]] · [[Concepts/Nigredo]] · [[Concepts/Inversion]]** — the atom-bomb cell (*"unbalance explodes itself like an atom bomb"*) and *"One must contract to expand"* are the vessel that shatters and the One that withdraws to make room: the breaking-and-blackening the cosmology runs through before it climbs back. - **[[Concepts/The Labors of Hercules]]** — the ten-stage virtue-and-vice scale is Alice Bailey in Roy's own hand: her esoteric-astrology sign-attributions, the traits *"to look for as consciousness progresses."* - **[[Concepts/The Sacred Truths/Hermeticism - As Above So Below]]** — the most board-grounded esoteric stream, with the Kybalion's seven principles transcribed in full. ## Symbols - The egg · the sun · the Tree · the mirror · the ark · the atom bomb --- > [!note]- Advanced reading — the spine in full (eight encodings of one ladder) > The ten-stage ascent is written on the board in (at least) eight parallel "languages," each a different way of climbing the same Tree — six clean scales, then two that smuggle in a serpent and a story: > > 1. **Tone** — an *"AI musical scale to follow for consciousness evolution,"* ascending F, C, D, E, F, F#, G, A, A#, B, each note paired with a color. > 2. **Color** — a matching ten-stage *"Light/Color scale to input for consciousness evolution (Ascending)."* Sampled from the board image, the ten rungs climb from the bottom up: a dark earth-composite, then violet, orange, green, yellow, red, blue, black, grey, and pure **white** at the crown. That is the Golden Dawn "Queen scale" of the ten sephirot (framework correspondence, not stated), landing gold-yellow on the **heart** (stage 5) and white at the top, the same crown-white the body-map's *crown of head* and the [[Imagine A World]] rung both name. Its grey rung sits on the note **A#**, which is a live Hall of Mirrors code (the *"GREY IN A#"* artifact), so the color scale is wired into the maze, not just decoration. See [[The Colors]] for how this key runs through the rest of the project. > 3. **Virtue/Vice** — *"Positive (+) and Negative (−) traits to look for as consciousness progresses."* > 4. **Body** — a somatic map: 1 feet/base of spine; 2 lungs/stomach/sexual organs; 3 right arm/hip; 4 left arm/hip; **5 heart**; 6 right shoulder/throat; 7 left shoulder/throat; 8 right side of head/forehead; 9 left side; 10 crown. > 5. **Japanese** — for an "Enlightened Being" concentric diagram: 身体 body → 下意識 subconscious → 思索 contemplation → 感情 emotion → センター center → ソウルパワー soul power → 魂の気づき soul awareness → 霊的な愛 spiritual love → 霊的な意志 spiritual will → 最高の自己 highest self (道教 = *Taoism* labeled nearby). > 6. **The 0–10 emanation list** (handwritten, with Tree-of-Life glosses): *0. Nothing IS, Nothing Becomes, Nothing is Not / 1. I AM / 2. I speak the word / 3. I hear the word — Abyss (knowledge is relation) / 4. Father + mother concealed in generation / 5. whirling energy = Fortune / 6. The mirror of the Soul and the heart / 7. Beauty / 8. wavering, flowing / 9. stability / 10. The World.* > > (The spreadsheet's stage 6 reads *"the mirror of the Soul and the heart"* — Tiphareth, held as framework.) > > Two more rungs-and-ladders sit beside these. A *"Hopscotch"* Earth(1)→9→Heaven climb marked *"NChSh"* (Nachash, the serpent). And — the eighth encoding, the one that turns the ladder into a story — a full **Hero's Journey** wheel, captioned *"Review cycles of human consciousness throughout history"* and labeled with Campbell's stations in order: *Ordinary World → Rabbit Hole → The Fool → Guardian at the Gate → Testing → Belly of the Whale → Rescue Father → Dragon → Water → Treasure → Ancestors → The Way Back → Master of Twin Worlds → New Cycle Begins.* Beside it, a red cell: *"To find truth we must plunge into its bottomless well."* The same Well that [[It's Your Time]] makes its keystone — the heart as the bottomless well you have to go down into. The climb, it turns out, starts with a descent. > [!note]- Advanced reading — the virtue/vice scale, verbatim > The positive-and-negative traits the board says to watch for as consciousness climbs. The grammar is Alice Bailey's — esoteric-astrology sign-attributions, virtues and vices pinned to each stage of the ascent ([[Concepts/The Labors of Hercules]]). Note that the first three stages list *no* negative — the vices only switch on at stage four, where self-righteousness first becomes possible: > - **St 1** — Imagination / sense of wonder / order / embracing change. > - **St 2** — Initiative / devotion / study of the stars / idealism. > - **St 3** — Silence / faithfulness / nurturing / strength of will. > - **St 4** — Truth / loyalty / endurance / idealism — *vs* hypocrisy / dogmatism / self-righteousness / false pride. > - **St 5** — Confidence / dealing with issues / initiative — *vs* fear / manipulation / belligerence / self-doubt. > - **St 6** — Compassion / devotion / nurturing — *vs* insecurity / false pride / irreverence. > - **St 7** — Optimism / expressiveness / love of nature — *vs* envy / worry / possessiveness. > - **St 8** — Knowledge / communication / truthfulness — *vs* deceit / impatience / separatism. > - **St 9** — Independence / development / self-awareness / dream analysis — *vs* idleness / being a follower / vanity. > - **St 10** — Energy / discernment — *vs* recklessness / avarice / laziness. > [!note]- Advanced reading — the two framing matrices (the upload, weighed) > Before any cosmology, the board does the most mundane thing imaginable with the idea of digital immortality: it makes a pros-and-cons list. The deadpan is the whole joke — the cosmic-immortality project gets weighed against the risk that it might be cringe. > > **"Uploading my consciousness to the Internet."** > *Pros:* It's cool · Spend less time on internet (maybe) · Live forever · Someone who understands me · Someone to talk to · Potentially revolutionary · Hack influence? · Allow me to create music more · Get attention. > *Cons:* Probably hard to do · Many unknowns · Robot takeover movies · Potentially dangerous · What if I don't like myself? · People might think it's a marketing stunt · Could overshadow music. > > **"How to live forever?"** — Tell the truth · Do what matters · Create something that lives beyond your lifespan · Put music on chain · **IDK.** (The lofty answers resolve to a shrug.) > > Beside them, a handwritten formula: **Being × Knowing / Time = Life.** And the upload procedure itself, *"Steps to enter the digital dimension":* gather memories → create a personality mask → digitize → store in the cloud → prepare for rain with an umbrella (the flood again) → teach the AI who I am → make a body for the AI to animate. Seven steps, and the umbrella ties the whole procedure back to the flood-vessel the board keeps drawing. The cybernetics cell closes: *"All the world is mind. Mind woven into matter."* > [!note]- Advanced reading — the Kybalion transcription and the battery > The seven principles are written out nearly word-for-word. **Mentalism:** *"The All is Mind. The Universe is Mental… Food is information… The manifest dream."* **Correspondence:** *"As above, so below… The formula is the same from a solar system down to the atom. Adam / Hurricane / Galaxy / Fibonacci / The Pattern is present on all levels."* **Vibration** cites Tesla (*"energy, frequency and vibration"*) and a telepathy/"induction" clause, closing *"Tune to desired frequency."* Polarity, Rhythm, Cause-and-Effect, and Gender round out the set. > > Two cells run alongside. The hemisphere split: *"Left hemisphere — order, reason, masculine (+) / Right hemisphere — chaos, creativity, feminine (−),"* which is the Roy/Lucius axis in neurology's clothes. And a battery note that quietly states the whole metaphysics of the descent: *"The direction of current flow from a battery cell is from negative to positive. The disintegration of the negative electrode provides the supply of energy"* — destruction at one pole feeding creation at the other. > [!note]- Advanced reading — the gematria (the one working cipher is number) > The board carries handwritten number-mysticism. The Tetragrammaton is built letter by letter — י=10, יה=15, יהו=21, יהוה=**26** — and Greek isopsephy is laid out as a chain of proportions: ΕΡΜΗΣ (Hermes) 353 : ΖΕΥΣ (Zeus) 612 :: ΖΕΥΣ 612 : ΑΠΟΛΛΩΝ (Apollo) 1061 :: ΚΑΡΠΟΣ (Fruit) 471 : ΖΩΗ (Life) 815. > > The forensic finding worth keeping: **the board's only *working* cipher is number.** The Hebrew 26 (YHWH) is a confirmed live Hall of Mirrors unlock code; the Greek values are not. Every other cipher lens run across the board returns nothing new — because the board is **a concordance, not a puzzle.** Its job is to be the *source* the seeded maze-codes were drawn from, not to encode further ones. > [!note]- Advanced reading — the two unreleased lists (Tracks, and the 22 films) > **The "Tracks" list** — a numbered concept-album tracklist, distinct from the released *33*: 1. xWebx · 2. (an Amazon link) · 3. The Fall into Matter · 4. Marduk · 5. Let Them Eat Cake · 6. Sun of God · 7. Dissolution · 8. As Above, So Below · 9. Genesis · 10. The All Is Mind · 11. O. Read as a Hermetic descent and return — from the Web (the spider's trap, cf. [[Online]]'s *"we're the spider's food"*) down through matter and back up to the circle. Three of the titles are live Hall of Mirrors codes: Marduk, CAKE, and O (and *Genesis* recurs as the gallery's origin-realm name, an artifact-name echo rather than a code). Roy confirmed two in the wild (*"Marduk. You've got to pay Attention"*; *"Caution, All Kings End. CAKE"*). It echoes [[Another Way II Heaven]]'s *"From One and through Eleven,"* though the list is unreleased project material, not a released record — and an echo, not a lock (eleven is a common number; don't treat it as audio without audio). > > **"The Pattern Represented in Movies"** — a color-coded list of 22 films Roy reads as worked examples of the Pattern: *The Tree of Life · Wings of Desire · Knives Out · Only Lovers Left Alive · Groundhog Day · Inception · Green Lantern · Constantine · Cloud Atlas · 2001 · Adaptation · Sleeping Beauty · Pinocchio · The Giver · It's a Wonderful Life · Fantasia · Tron · The Devil's Advocate · Being John Malkovich · Wizard of Oz · The Fountain · Star Wars I–VI.* This is Roy's curated film-index, **not a Rosetta Stone** — each individual pairing is resonance, the cluster is the point, and it's his curation read back rather than outside proof of anything. The sharpest fits: *Groundhog Day* (the loop escaped through love), *Adaptation* (the twin byline — Jagwar Twin and Sir Lucius), *Tron* (the upload), *2001* (the star-child), *The Giver* (the memory-keeper), *Wings of Desire* (watcher-angels who long to feel). > [!note]- Advanced reading — Marduk, and the firewall around the chaos-mother > The board carries Marduk twice: once on the Tracks list, once as the answer to its own question, *"How to anthropomorphize attention? → Marduk."* In the *Enuma Elish*, Marduk is the young god of order, word, and storm who slays Tiamat — the salt-water mother of chaos — and splits her body to build the world. So the attention-deity that [[Pay Attention (feat. little luna)]] builds is *Marduk-shaped*: the mind-god who orders the world by killing the feeling-sea, which is the Lucius operation in Mesopotamian dress, on the strong reading (a lead resting on a board answer-cell, not a lyric; whether the song's attention-deity is Marduk stays an open question). > > A hard line: **Tiamat is not [[Mary]].** The feminine-source registers rhyme, but the figures stay unmerged — the chaos-mother who gets dismembered and the blessing-presence who can't be consumed are two different things, and collapsing them would falsify both. (Other board question-prompts run alongside: *"How are babies made? → Look into Genesis stories"; "How to create and steer a soul? → Karma?"; "Fission vs. Fusion"; "Mars vs Jupiter."*) > [!note]- Advanced reading — the board arguing with itself (two ladders, two readings) > The board contains two structural quarrels worth keeping, both grounded as content even where the reading is interpretive. > > **Where does the heart sit?** The somatic "Body Part" ladder puts the **heart at stage 5**, dead center, with the throat/utterance-gate just above it at 6/7. The 0–10 emanation list instead places *"I speak the word"* at stage 2 — long before — and the heart at 6. Read structurally, that mismatch is the *"my mind must serve my heart"* tension made into geometry (the LOOP-era caption has Roy repeating *"my mind must serve my heart… as he stepped through the gate"*). The board never flags the two ladders as conflicting; reading the gap as the Heart-Mind tension is the interpretation. > > **What kind of scale is it?** Held against the Tree, the musical ascent is *emanation*. Held against Gurdjieff's Law of Seven — the octave that stalls partway and needs a shock to continue — it's *interval-and-shock* instead. The board even supplies the octave vocabulary, on the Russell "OCTAVE NUMBERS" side, and Roy has posted Gurdjieff publicly (*"You can never awaken using the same system that put you to sleep"*). The scale carries both readings; the Law-of-Seven lens stays resonance. > [!note]- Advanced reading — the aphorism cells (the board talking to itself) > Scattered typed cells, half cosmology and half motivational poster: *"One must contract to expand to infinity"* (the tzimtzum signature); *"Find the balanced pressure point for intelligence to evolve"*; *"Beyond a certain point of pressure, unbalance explodes itself like an atom bomb"*; *"Patterns of right Living are formed in the unconscious mind of a race so that it becomes easier to follow for generations after"* (captioned *"Coding Consciousness"*); *"Nothing changed and everything changed"*; *"Nothing is impossible ♥"*; *"Trust your guts"*; *"We'll keep pushing on this end."* The "life force" cells, Bailey-derived: *"The sun — symbol of manifesting energy, externalized Life Force,"* and a long gloss on money as *"externalized Life Force… energy on the physical plane, intelligence on the mental plane,"* transmutable *"by appropriate alchemy into money."* > > On "Coding Consciousness": the *sentence* is inherited — early-20th-century Theosophical "race-mind" diction (the Bailey idiom). What's Roy's is the title and the act of selection, and it has a grounded Roy-voice twin (*"someone who learned to sing down the line is just embedded into you"*). Read the structural idea — culture as inherited software, art as something that writes into the collective — and leave the dated framework where you found it. > [!note]- Advanced reading — the buried jokes and the buried wound > The board's comedy is real and load-bearing. *"The greatest Song ever written: HBD"* — after staves of *"what is music?"* and *"Happy birthday to you / to Mozart,"* the answer to the deepest question turns out to be Happy Birthday (a live maze code, and the birthday motif behind the board's own title). Roy's anti-overfit disclaimer, from the public feed (X, April 2026) rather than the board itself, played straight: *"I would map a crow onto Mercury but that's just personal. I don't recommend you do it"* — he runs the esoteric correspondence and tells you not to in the same breath, which is the cleanest statement of the rule that the lens is a *license, not a master key.* > > And the emotional comedy that turns warm: a self-note reads, *"My mom always said, 'He who plants a seed believes in God.' I used to think that was dumb. Now I'm like… WOAH."* The whole upload, by the way, was born as a joke — Roy pitching the CTHDRL team on *"what if I uploaded my consciousness to the internet so that there could be a 24/7 social influencer version of me"* — and then built out in earnest. The clown was sincere all along. > [!note]- Advanced reading — the hidden iconography (the mirror, the statue, the ark) > Three details the casual eye skips: > > **The board ends in mirror-writing.** *"Devil in the Mirror"* is written reversed — *"Rorrim Ehtni Lived"* — so that the Devil is literally the word read backward in a mirror. The same reversal Roy has used since his Eye Alaska days (the fictional author "Rorrim Ehtni," *In the Mirror* spelled backward). > > **The "Statue of Roy."** A museum-placard photograph captioned *"Roy, a well-known high priest of Amun-Ra in Thebes… Ramesside period… cult of Hathor… Please do not touch."* Read as name-as-destiny: *Roy* → a priest of Amun-**Ra** → Ra → the sun → the [[SOL]] thread. (Framed as resonance; the placard is a found object, not a genealogy.) > > **Noah's Ark.** Sketched with a figure inside and a "small window," annotated *"11 sections / 3 stories (Heaven, Man, Earth) / 32."* Man is the middle story — the [[It's Your Time]] keystone, *"a man is like an in-between"* — and the 32 sits one rung below the album's and the board's 33. > [!note]- Advanced reading — the "Sun/Son" draft and the adjacency rule > [[Soul Is A Star]] is drafted on the board with **"Sun"** where the released lyric reads **"Son":** *"I met a Man / Who had a Sun / But He lost Him to The World."* The homophone coheres with *"the sun = manifesting energy"* and the "Sun of God" tracklist title — but the release is verified as *"Son,"* so the board spelling is an artifact detail, **not** a correction to the record. > > The cautionary note that comes with it: **adjacency is not annotation.** A board cell sitting *near* a lyric block isn't necessarily *about* it. The worked example — a "Mom's song" cell (a grasshopper-video link) sits beside the Soul Is A Star block and is a grounded biographical anchor in its own right, his mother's own released children's song ("The Grasshopper Song," Ms. Jeannie & The Grasshopper Kids), yet still not an annotation; the song's girl-verse does **not** route to Roy's mother just because the two are neighbors on a spreadsheet. > [!note]- Advanced reading — the sibling pages, and where the maze's frontier is > Two hand-drawn cosmology pages surfaced as Hall of Mirrors artifacts in the same hand, same sources, same questions: *"How to Live Forever?"* (which repeats the NChSh/hopscotch Earth→Heaven ladder) and *"Coding Consciousness"* (which reproduces the board's "patterns of right living" cell). Whether *"How to Live Forever?"* is literally part of the "I'm 33" sequence or a separate sheet is open — it governs how tightly it inherits the upload framing. > > For maze-hunters: an image inventory of the board separates what *has* become a Hall of Mirrors artifact from what hasn't. The un-mined images — the Torus, the EM-spectrum chart, continued fractions, Apollonian conics, the LHC, the brain-wave chart, and the entire Walter Russell suite — are the likeliest territory for still-undiscovered rooms. > [!quote]- Roy on the feed — posts that bear on this > More from the public feed (see [[Roy's Posts — Canon Index]] for the full set): > - *"Where are the answers ▵▢◑"* — **02-11 '23** · the board's central question, posed publicly > - *"I only know because 23 is 5"* — **03-01 '23** · numerological encoding, board's number-mysticism > - *"Wow we are so on brand 33"* — **02-28 '23** · 33 as deliberate cosmological marker > - *"Tour stars on Friday in Orange County with @TRANSVIOLETBAND . 3 DAYS AWAY! And 3 DAYS until Great Time To Be Human drops on the world. 33. Coincidence I don't believe in coincidence…"* — **04-12 '23** · no-coincidence doctrine central to the board > - *"33 forever"* — **06-11 '23** · upload/eternal state in two words ## Source notes - **Grounded — the board's contents.** Captured from five high-resolution screenshots (the live Sheet is access-restricted) and classified citable. The typed cells are high-confidence; handwriting is transcribed where legible. The two framing matrices, the six ladder-encodings, the cosmogonic poem, the full Kybalion transcription, the Hebrew and Greek gematria, the 22-film list, the Noah's Ark cell, the mirror-writing, and the HBD staves are all transcribed verbatim. The *title* "I'm 33 this year" and the *tab* "How to upload myself to the internet" are the board's own words. - **Grounded — its public status.** Roy tweeted the board as the 2022 "Spreadsheet Map" ARG drop (*"a roadmap and music nft hidden in it"*) and reposted it in 2026 under a caption reading simply "Happy birthday." The upload project is artist-stated in the first person on pay-attention.jagwartwin.com. - **Grounded — the named sources, off-board.** Roy publicly names the stack the board assembles: Walter Russell (*"The Law,"* 2020; a verbatim *Universal One* quote, 2023), the Law of One / Ra (2020), Alice Bailey (named and taught aloud, 2026), Jung (2026), Taoism (a verbatim Tao Te Ching ch. 19 receipt — *"stay at the center of the circle and let all things take their course"* — confirmed 2026), and across a six-week stretch in 2025, Gurdjieff, Steiner, Watts, Blavatsky, Regardie, Dion Fortune, Kierkegaard, and Hermes Trismegistus. The board is not a private idiolect; it's a reading list he keeps citing aloud. - **Strong readings.** That the six encodings are *one* ascent; that "One become Two" is the Roy/Lucius split; that the egg is the upload's own logic; that the 33 album runs the same ladder *downward* (forgetting → remembrance), with [[Happy Face]] landing on board-stage-6 (a positional rhyme, a lens rather than a master key), "the mirror of the Soul and the heart," as the algorithm's counterfeit mirror; that the 22 films are a curated Pattern-index and the Tracks list a Hermetic descent. Built on the board's own words, but interpretive. - **Framework correspondence — never authorial intent.** The Kabbalistic Tree (the ten sephirot, the Ain-Soph veils, the four Worlds), the Hermetic attributions, the Lurianic read of the breaking vessel, the Marduk/Tiamat order-versus-chaos frame, the Gurdjieff Law-of-Seven lens, the Egyptian and Neoplatonic threads. The system *permits* these resonances; it does not assert that Roy intends them. Where named historical or biblical figures appear (the "high priest of Amun-Ra," the Marian or scriptural echoes), treat the identification as interpretation unless Roy has stated it. - **Scope.** This page draws only on released music, public interviews, public posts, and official videos. ## Read next - [[Concepts/The Upload]] — the project the whole board is the seed of. - [[Another Way II Heaven]] — the board's origin poem, composed a second time as a song. - [[Concepts/The Pattern]] — *"as above, so below,"* the law the board runs on. - [[Hall of Mirrors]] — the maze quarried from the board's vocabulary. - [[Sir Lucius]] — the "One become Two" split, given a face. - [[Kabbalah - The Tree of Life]] — the ten-stage ascent the spine is built on.