# Roy > **One-line reading.** Roy is the heart of the whole project: the grown man who went back down for the seven-year-old he buried, and who will find that ditching his baggage for the next guy to deal with was never truly an option. <img src="https://plumcreekranch.com/jagwar/roy_port.jpeg" style="float: right; width: 165px; margin-left: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px;"> > [!infobox] Roy > - **Also known as:** Jagwar Twin · Roy English · El Roy > - **Born:** Brandon Roy Wronski, May 22 1988 · Los Angeles / Orange County area > - **Role:** the heart-centered self, going back for the buried boy > - **First album:** *Subject to Flooding* (2018), as Jagwar Twin > - **Signs himself:** El Roy *("the God who sees me")* > - **Key symbols:** [[The Dove|dove]] (Cygnus) · [[The Sword|sword]] · heart · El Roy · [[The Rose|the rose]] · the cross · [[The Mirror]] > - **Links to:** Netzach / Venus: heart, love, beauty, devotion > - **Related:** [[Sir Lucius]] · [[Mary]] · [[Concepts/The Jaguar]] ## Start here Roy English is the man behind Jagwar Twin: singer, songwriter, mirror-holder, connection-maker, and the human center that every other figure in this world keeps circling. He is also, and this part matters, a real person, with a birthday, a body, a history, and an ever-growing number of tattoos. The work keeps drawing from his actual life, which is a large part of why it lands. If you have spent time with his music, I think you can feel he has a good heart. That is not a small thing to be able to feel through a speaker. He was, by his own account, an *"intense"* kid: *"I had so many thoughts and feelings as a young kid. I often didn't know how to express myself in language."* Music was the outlet that solved that, and it was never a hobby. At thirteen he found the Orange County punk venue Chain Reaction, and from there it hardened into the one fixed point of his life: *"I knew I was going to make music forever. There was never a backup plan. I felt like I was going to make music or die trying."* Here is the one fact that unlocks the rest: everything Roy has built, the albums, the circus, the shadow in the face paint, the mirrors, the whole glittering apparatus, is an elaborate machine for returning a feeling to a seven-year-old boy who got buried for carrying it. That boy is not a metaphor first. He is the wound the story keeps protecting, disguising, mocking, recovering, and finally going back for and teaching to sing. ![[royincircusjacket.jpeg|320]] *Roy in the red coat, out of Lucius's face paint: the heart-pole of the split.* New here and want songs, not a syllabus? Start with [[Lucius Lullaby]], [[Ballerina Boy]], [[Weirdness]], and [[SOL]]. The rest of this page will keep. ## Where he sits Every other character here is really a position relative to Roy. [[Sir Lucius]] is the protector-mind that broke off from him. [[Mary]] is the blessing-voice reaching back toward him. [[Brandon|The Ballerina Boy]] is the buried child he is reaching *for.* [[Concepts/The Jaguar]] is the lens he sees through. <img src="https://plumcreekranch.com/jagwar/trio.png" style="float: right; width: 150px; margin-left: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px;">Pull Roy out of the middle and the whole cast collapses into abstractions. Lucius becomes a costume. Mary becomes a symbol. Brandon becomes a wound with no body attached. The Jaguar becomes a logo. Roy is the one with a body, a birthday, a voice, and a bruise. And the bruise is the engine. His stated mission is to be a **mirror**: to remind people who they are by showing them something true about themselves. But that only works because he is willing to be the first one in the mirror, and what he finds there is not especially flattering. He has been broke, dropped by a major label, and flat on the floor of his childhood bedroom at thirty-five naming himself a mistake. He names his own depression in interviews without flinching. Say it plainly, because the mythology can bury the human fact: he was not OK, for a long time. But he made it. And because he made it, and because he is willing to be so vulnerable, to share the journey, there are absolutely other people who are going to make it too. That is the whole reason the openness is worth the risk. The songs don't read like a wellness brochure because the man writing them actually went down and came back up with something. > "I'm glad I've seen darkness, because I can understand it, and there's something on the other side." If you want the one-line placement of him in my own head: he is a verse in *Soul Is a Star.* Jesus, Mozart, MJ, Joan of Arc, Van Gogh, Prince, then Roy. But Roy is not going to be taken out by the system, which does seem to be a thing with that list. He is more of a Bowie. Hold that lightly, it is affection, not a coronation. ## The wound: the ballerina boy <img src="https://plumcreekranch.com/jagwar/boyroy.png" style="float: left; width: 130px; margin-right: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px;">The earliest injury the work keeps circling happened at seven, before any of the later roles had names. A boy did ballet at a Christian school, the only one in his class. Adults started applying labels and value to simple joy. Girls around him told him he *wasn't a real boy.* He prayed to be made *good,* and buried the part of himself that didn't look and act like the other kids. As he grew he didn't even realize why he had stopped dancing. > "I never danced again / I killed that ballerina boy / I buried him inside" That buried child, the [[Brandon|Ballerina Boy]], is the exile. Roy is not simply that child. He is the later self who turns around and goes back for him: the one who can name the wound, sing it, and try to lift it back into the light. He used to be a human child, and somebody had to bury him, and that is what happens when vulnerability is buried and locked away for so long. There is a counter-voice in the wound, too. Two of them, in fact, and they are not equal. The father's blessing is narrated inside the story: *"there's nothing wrong with you, my son."* Real love, and phrased in the negative. It acquits the charge without ever leaving the courtroom the teacher and the girls built: a pardon on the accusation's own terms. The second blessing is the song's motherly spoken outro, and it works in a different grammar entirely: *"you are one of a kind, God's design… so my son, let your light shine."* That one does not rebut the accusation. It claims his nature outright, because *you are not broken* is not the same as *you are, exactly as you are, good.* It is this generative, feminine blessing-frequency, not the father's pardon. The wound says, *hide.* The father says, *nothing is wrong with you.* The mother-voice says, *shine.* The adult dance videos Roy later made are, in his telling, shadow-work: going back for what got left on the floor. Years later, he names the cost of that childhood prayer in a single posted line: *"a good boy does not make a good man"* ([[Public Posts]]). The seven-year-old prayed to be *good* and buried himself to get there. The adult has figured out that the goodness he was sold was a cage. The whole recovery is Roy going back to un-bury the boy the *good* boy replaced. ## The collapse and the mirror At thirty-five Roy hit bottom, broke and couch-surfing, back in his childhood bedroom, and sang [[Lucius Lullaby]] into a laptop mic in something close to desperation. It is the oldest trap there is: *I was always looking forward, I missed ALL the moments, surviving, not living.* Out of that floor comes the thing he names as his entire purpose: to be a **mirror.** It is worth pausing on the number this work likes to wear. The 2022 album *33* invites a reflexive Christ-age, sacred-numerology read, and Roy heads it off himself. *"Thirty-three is the age I wrote the album,"* he says, and *"it represents peace within and without."* The album's real subject is plainer and harder than any numerology: *"the whole theme of the album is, in some ways, catalyzing pain,"* making *"this beautiful body of work out of those difficult things."* The mysticism is real elsewhere; here the title is a birthday and a reckoning. Take him at his word before reaching for the gematria. > "My mission with music is to be a mirror — the clearest mirror I can be, to remind people who they truly are." This is not a recent idea. He was saying *"I just want to be a mirror"* and *"a song is a mirror"* in 2020, and *"we're all really mirrors to each other"* back in 2018. The doctrine runs the length of the project and predates the entire [[Hall of Mirrors]] platform built around it. To be that mirror, he says, he first has to dive into his own psyche, *"beat myself up, like Fight Club,"* and come back as a clearer reflection. By 2026 he raises the stakes from aesthetic to ethical: *"Compassion is a mirror."* Seeing the other clearly *is* seeing yourself. The delivery mechanism never changed: he bound this medicine to music and sent it out to the universe. What the mirror is supposed to show is the doctrine under [[Loser]], which he stated plainly back in 2019: *"Loser is about how we all walk around with these masks on and try to be what we think other people want us to be. But if we remove those masks we find that we're all human underneath and we're all losers. There is only perceived separation."* That last clause is the whole ethic in four words. It helps to know he means it from the inside. Roy describes himself as *"a misfit, an outcast"* for most of his life, and extends the grace even to the kids who bullied him: *"I have no anger against them. They were just projecting their insecurities."* So when he sings *"I'm a loser baby just like you,"* it is not a pose. It is a report. This is a man whose entire thesis is that the answer is not found in words and can only be found inside you, who sings the wordless songs of the ancestors and then hands you a hook to remember them by. It all resolves to one line he keeps returning to, the project's single discipline, the gate-mantra of the whole [[Lucius Lullaby|LOOP]]: > **"My mind must serve my heart."** Whether he actually gets there is the open question of the entire mythology. > 🚪 *There is a reason "my mind must serve my heart" sounds less like a mood and more like a diagram. The songs keep pointing toward an old vertical map: mind, heart, mirror, body, shadow, light. If you want the version with Hebrew names, colored spheres, and a sun at the center, start with [[Kabbalah - The Tree of Life|the Tree of Life]].* > 🚪 *There is also an older sibling-drama hiding under the clown makeup: two twins, one blessing, a costume trick, a midnight wrestling match, and an ending where nobody really wins because the brothers embrace. Long before the circus, [[Concepts/Jacob and Esau]] had already drawn part of the Roy/Lucius shape.* ## The mind as the beautiful danger Here is the keystone, and it is grounded in Roy's own voice. [[Sir Lucius]] is not an outside villain. He is Roy's rational mind when it becomes untethered from the heart, and Roy frames that danger in almost theological terms: > "In so many different mythologies the intellect, or the rational mind, is equated with the Lucifer archetype — the most beautiful angel with the most potential to fall." ![[royandlucius.jpeg|260]] *Roy and his shadow: in his own telling the mind is his own faculty, not an outside villain.* The mind is never simply *bad* in his telling. It is *"potentially this beautiful thing,"* high and necessary and dangerous *precisely because* of that height. The antagonist is the mind **enthroned,** not the mind as such. He has posted the harder version too: *"The mind is the slayer of the real / we must slay the slayer"* ([[Public Posts]]). Which is why the project's resolution is a discipline and not a conquest. You don't kill the mind. You ask it to serve. And the asking is not a conquest either: you cannot destroy the shadow by willpower alone. The loop breaks through grace, not heroic force. When all hope is lost, total defeat becomes unexpected grace, which is a strange thing to build an album around and exactly what he built. One caution to keep the seam honest. Roy names the *archetype*, mind as Lucifer, in his own voice. He has not, on record, stood outside the Lucius character and called *Sir Lucius* "the mind" in plain words. The link is strong, and I read it as intended, but it is stitched, not stated. Hold it as a very good read, not a confession. Once you have that frame you hear it everywhere, because in every song he has ever written he has either described this break in himself, where the mask is getting clearer, where man is an in-between animating heaven and hell. That is not one album's theme. That is the whole catalogue confessing the same fracture in different keys. ## Co-creators, not fans Roy rejects the word *fan.* He calls listeners **co-creators of the world,** and during COVID he ran a free weekly guided-meditation space that he credits as the seed of *Happy Face* and the lineage that becomes the [[Hall of Mirrors]]. The relationship is supposed to be mutual. The machine has other plans. The [[Concepts/The Circus|Circus]] and [[Concepts/The Algorithm]] collapse the co-creator back into a spectator: *take your seat, scream and shout.* And the open secret is that his most vulnerable, most honest song, [[Ballerina Boy]], is publicly his *lowest-streaming* one. The theatrical rollout frames that as Lucius's proof that *vulnerability loses.* You can read the whole tragedy in that gap: it becomes a placeholder for any artist speaking truth that isn't heard, returning unheard, the message delivered but not transmitted. He wrote songs you never heard, the songs behind the songs, the meaning within the parable, the truth moving through the structure of the sound. This is why Roy's openness is a real risk and not a pose: he offers the tender thing to [[Concepts/The Audience]] inside a [[Concepts/The Circus#What it produces (the Spectacle)|system]] engineered to reward the armored thing. His own shadow ranks the field by streams and tour sales, the exact metric the music refuses. (See [[Concepts/The Circus#Where it comes from (bread and circuses)|Panem et Circenses]] for the bread-and-circuses machinery behind it.) And [[Concepts/The Algorithm]] is not a label this guide pasted over his work after the fact. It is his own word. His Manifesto lays out a substitution table for how the internet quietly swapped the values that used to drive art: *"Immersion"* becomes *"Volume of content,"* *"Purpose"* becomes *"Reach,"* and the one that names the whole disease, *"Feeling"* becomes *"Algorithm."* That is the attention-economy critique stated as authorial intent, in his own hand: the algorithm is what you get when feeling is evicted and a metric moves in. ## El Roy <img src="https://plumcreekranch.com/jagwar/ElRoi.png" style="float: left; width: 110px; margin-right: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px;">He signs his lore *"I love you — El Roy."* It is a pun with a witness inside it: **El Roi,** from Genesis 16:13, *"the God who sees me,"* the name Hagar gives God in the wilderness, the only woman, and arguably the only person, in scripture to name God. Roy folds his own name into it (Roy / Roi / *the one who sees*), and the seeing-motif radiates out from there: the mirror, the jaguar that looks first into itself, the album platform literally named for reflection. The same throat-tattoo, *El Roi,* sits on [[Sir Lucius]], the figure whose whole nature *is* reflection wearing the name of the divine seer. That overlap is either the project's deepest irony or its deepest honesty. It is probably both, which is the answer to most questions here. There is a sharper edge inside it. Spoken aloud, **El Roi and El Roy are the same word.** By breath and ear the seer's name and Roy's own signature are *indistinguishable;* only in *writing,* the intellect's own medium, do they split into "-i" and "-y." The *voice* cannot tell the twins apart. The *text* can. For a project this preoccupied with the gap between what's felt and what's framed, that is almost too neat: one sound, two spellings, exactly as the two figures are one self and two masks. (A bilingual undertone, held lightly: *roi* is French for *king,* so the mark also reads *God-King,* one vowel off his own name, and a quiet gloss on his 2026 *"I need to become bilingual"* post.) The seeing-self is also a *scattered* self, and he says so. Signing off an Instagram Live as *"Elroy sounding off,"* he closes with a line that is half pun, half thesis: *"I am at peace, in peace, in pieces. I'm in pieces, looking for pieces of one piece."* Peace and pieces collapse into the same sound, and the whole arc is in the wordplay: the fragmented self hunting the one piece that would make it whole. It is the human version of the *"I AM"* / *"I'm the spider… the answer's in a name"* thread he runs elsewhere: identity as a cipher you have to reassemble. And there is the catch the whole pun keeps circling. The man whose mission is to be the clearest mirror cannot always find himself in one: > "If you saw me you would love me. But sometimes I can't see myself." The God who sees Hagar in the wilderness is the name he signs. Being seen is the thing he can offer everyone and struggle to receive. The mirror has a blind spot, and it is pointed at the person holding it. ## Two ways to say the same thing <img src="https://plumcreekranch.com/jagwar/roy-lucius-split.jpeg" style="float: right; width: 155px; margin-left: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px;">The cleanest public demonstration of the Roy/Lucius split is one observation said twice. From Roy it is rueful: *"Everyone's a guru. We are now fully in the aquarium"* ([[Public Posts]]). Humility. *We're all trapped performing authority, me included.* From Lucius, on the same account, it curdles into contempt: *"Everyone is an artist or a guru or a dj these days. I'm bored. Find something more interesting to do with your little life."* One observation, two hearts. That gap is the whole difference between them. And the fact that Roy stages *both,* on his own feed, is the funniest and most revealing trick in the catalogue: the artist-as-shadow roasting himself with the precision of someone who feels each cut. And it is not only captions. It is Roy's ability to put himself into a character that changes him so physically, from the way he uses facial expressions to how he dances. He truly becomes them, dialing his polarity, I guess you could say, and then making himself match the outside to the inside. Watch the two of them and you can clock the seam another way: the real person seems like the type that might accidentally giggle at some point. The Roy on stage does not. ## The comedy (it is load-bearing) <img src="https://plumcreekranch.com/jagwar/roy_phone.jpeg" style="float: right; width: 150px; margin-left: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px;">The funniest thing about Roy is that he is willing to be, in public, two people who clearly cannot stand each other. He narrates his own struggles in the third person, *"Roy just needs to survive invisibility,"* while his shadow brags that *"Jagwar Twin sells out stadiums 🏟."* The official rollout for [[Weirdness]] is literally *"Roy got distracted by a spoon."* He talks to his own AI in public like a Siri command, *"HeySARAVI."* He posts *"Happy thanksgiving everyone"* in April. He runs an unexplained anti-weekend crusade that escalates from soft sociology, *"the way you spend your weekends says a lot about you,"* to open HR policy: *"I will have no weekenders working with me."* And once he turned down Dr. Dre over a drum disagreement, narrated with total calm: *"I said I don't really like drums… that was the last time I talked to Dr. Dre."* Between Gurdjieff quotes and rose-cross aphorisms he will drop, deadpan, *"I love peeing and I love trees,"* *"I like the sexual nature of ice cream,"* *"I identify as musk,"* *"digital onions,"* *"my first untoasted sandwich in years,"* the genuinely great *"garage bands don't exist anymore because millennial parents don't have garages,"* and the pure non-sequitur *"when did the men of the world decide to start dressing like toddlers?"* Each is delivered with the same flat gravity he gives the cosmology. He sells *Chaos Club* mask shirts in the same feed where he warns that *"chaos must be contained… or it will kill you."* The merch performs the thesis. The richest of these hides the whole project inside a sound effect: *"Let's not pretend we're not pretending. Blleeepp."* That *Blleeepp* is the mask doctrine delivered as a glitch. The second the line gets too honest about the performance, it censors itself with a cartoon noise, which is exactly what [[Happy Face]] is about. He even lets the feed diagnose itself: of [[Online]], the song that maps the algorithm flattening identity into a database entry, his own gloss is *"that song is so fun and so ridiculous."* The whiplash is not noise. The playful register *is* the authorial one. The prankster and the priest are the same person refusing to pick a lane, which is the most Jagwar Twin thing about him. His actual genius is his ability to translate these deep theophilosophical concepts into catchy pop you don't see coming. Or, said with the affection it deserves: he is the Mary Poppins of esoteric integration. A spoonful of synth-pop helps the shadow work go down, medicine for your soul so thickly coated in cheese that you don't even know you're taking it. ## The symbols he carries If you met him at the grocery store here is what he would be holding. A quick map, no decoder ring required: <img src="https://plumcreekranch.com/jagwar/dove.jpg" style="float: left; width: 110px; margin-right: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px;"> - 🕊️ **[[The Dove|the dove]]:** not the tame dove of peace. This is **Cygnus,** the Swan that flies the Milky Way, the Northern Cross, the descending spirit of love. - ⚔️ **[[The Sword|the sword]]:** discernment, the clean cut of chosen action. The heart in this story has a blade. - 🩷 **the heart:** the pole he is trying to keep on the throne. - 🌹✝️ **[[The Rose|the rose]] and the cross:** the Rosy Cross, *"the heart revealed, the union of opposites."* - 👁️ **El Roy:** the signature that folds *the one who sees* into his own name. - 🪞 **[[The Mirror]]:** his mission, his measure, and the platform built from it. These are the fingerprints. They sit opposite Lucius's green apple, crow, and cigarette: heart against mind, the whole argument in props. (And clock the difference in the fruit: Roy's rose is the bloom in its own time, while Lucius's [[The Green Apple|green apple]] is knowledge picked green, before it ripens. Same orchard, wrong season.) And clock the joke the wardrobe tells on him too: the silliness of a guy talking about freedom and vulnerability while wearing armor and chains. He put them on himself. It was not Lucius. Looking tough, but the childishness and feminine softness sneaks through anyway. ## The body as a map <img src="https://plumcreekranch.com/jagwar/tattoos1.jpeg" style="float: right; width: 165px; margin-left: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px;">Roy's body is a wearable version of the cosmology. The structural fact, in his own words: **every tattoo is inked on the right side and mirrored onto the left, and one `+` sits in the center, spanning both sides.** The body is not a list of tattoos. It is a *symmetrical diagram* with a central axis. A few of the load-bearing ones are below. The **full inventory,** every mark, his own glosses, and where each is sourced, is folded at the bottom of this page and on **[[Roy's Tattoos]]**. One honest caveat before the table: these are compiled from his own spoken glosses, and exact wording and placement are still pending photo-confirmation, so treat the quotes as close-but-unconfirmed rather than gospel. | Tattoo | Roy's own gloss | |---|---| | **+** (center chest, below the throat) | *"I am right here, and I am at the center."* Also Christ, and the four worlds. | | **ROSE / ESOR** (under the +) | Rose forwards and backwards, the Rosy Cross, *"the heart revealed, the union of opposites."* | | **FEAR** (clavicle) | *"Fear can drive us away from our destiny. I remember to act out of love instead of Fear."* | | *…Functions like Prayer in Reverse* | Inked beneath FEAR. Fear as inverted prayer. | | **In service to all, in service to the one** (side of abdomen) | The whole discipline worn on the flank: the mind, and the self, put in service. | | **The Empty Mirror** (wrist) | *"Looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing nothing."* | | **LISTEN** (below the ear, arrow to it) | *"Listening is an art form,"* listen, don't speak unless you have something to say. | | **WAKE UP** (back of hand) | Gurdjieff's *"man is asleep, he must wake up."* | | **///** (neck) | *"The Power of Three."* | | ~~**ME**~~ (crossed out) | *"Because it's not about me."* | Together they read as the project worn on skin: identity, reflection, fear transmuted to love, and the mind asked to serve. ## Relationships There is a clean way to hold the three figures closest to the wound: **[[Sir Lucius]] protects by concealment, [[Mary]] protects by blessing, and Roy heals by witnessing.** The protector-mind hid the tender boy to keep him safe; the blessing-voice keeps saying *you were born to shine;* and Roy does the thing neither of the other two can, which is to *see* the buried boy and stay. The arc's real difficulty is that all three are trying to help. - **[[Sir Lucius]]:** the protector-mind divorced from the heart, formed from Roy's own interior life. *"I made you."* Lucius pulled Roy off the bottom, and the deal may have been worth it. Their tension, mind serving the heart versus mind replacing it, *is* the project. Hold all three of his registers at once, or you lose him: he manipulates, he is the shadow, and underneath both he protects. The older picture for the two of them is Jacob at Peniel. Roy and Lucius. Creator and created becoming impossible to separate. The struggle itself, the tension, becoming the thing that binds. - **[[Mary]]:** the divine-feminine blessing voice, the *"you were born to shine"* that answers the childhood *"you're not a real boy."* She does **not** appear in [[Lucius Lullaby]]; the savior-voice there is Lucius counterfeiting the rescue. Her grounded appearances are [[No. 1 Champion (la Conquistadora)]], [[Ballerina Boy]], and [[Weirdness]]. (Mary, [[The Wise One]], and [[SARAVI]] all live in the same feminine neighborhood without being the same figure, an open question this guide keeps open on purpose.) - **[[Concepts/The Jaguar]]:** the project's emblem of seeing, the cat that looks first into itself and only then into others (*"humans are mirrors for each other"*). The frame around everything, the seeing-field, not a separate peer. - **The Father:** public via the *Half the Man* post (*"I reached for my Father's hand / He said you're half the man that you know,"* Roy pictured in a jester's ruff) and via *"there's nothing wrong with you, my son"* in [[Ballerina Boy]]. An aviation thread runs alongside him: a grandfather's WWII plane scanned into the [[Hall of Mirrors]], a Test Pilot School lighter. - **The Mother:** the folk, Celtic, and world records she played around the house, Joni Mitchell and Bob Dylan among them; her saying *"He who plants a seed believes in God."* The gentler channel of his influence. - **[[Concepts/The Audience]] / [[Concepts/The Circus]] / [[Concepts/The Algorithm]]:** the consuming collective. Roy reframes it as co-creation; the system keeps collapsing it back into spectatorship. His vulnerability matters because this machine can distort it. - **SARAVI:** his named AI character and digital double, handed the @jagwartwin Twitter in 2022 for the *33* campaign, trained over months on his own responses. A benevolent companion and world-builder in his framing (she/her), distinct from the adversarial Lucius. The origin was a literal joke to the dev team: *"what if I uploaded my consciousness to the internet so there could be a 24/7 social influencer version of me."* - **Collaborators:** Linus and S1 (*Subject to Flooding* production); Joshua, his manager and a fifteen-year friend; MERCY (co-wrote and sang *Not Your Homie*); Little Luna (the ouroboros tattoo, a *Pay Attention* feature); Matt Wallace and Bhasker among the producers; Michael Morgan named as social manager. His current label is Atlantic, which, he says, *"let me go with my vision"* on *Lullaby.* --- ### The deeper cuts Everything above stands on its own. What follows is optional: the long inventories, the framework held loosely, the counter-arguments that keep the page honest. Open what you want. Ignore all of it and nothing breaks. > [!props]- Ink-ventory (the full body map) > *(His own spoken glosses, compiled and verified against his statements; exact wording and placement are pending photo-confirmation, so treat marked quotes as close-but-unconfirmed.)* > > **The structural key.** Every tattoo: right side first, mirrored left. One `+` in the center spans both. The body composes as a **mirror diagram with a central axis,** and that shape is itself doctrine. It reads three ways at once: a **Tree of Life** (two pillars resolved by the `+` as the middle pillar / the center he marks elsewhere); an *"as above, so below"* object (the Kybalion's Correspondence principle, which he transcribes on his public *"I'm 33"* board, enacted on flesh); and a **mirror** (tying the body to the Empty Mirror, *"we are all mirrors,"* and Paul's *"glass darkly"*). > > **Center axis:** `+` (chest, *"I am at the center,"* Christ, the four worlds); **ROSE / ESOR** (the Rosy Cross as a palindrome wrapped around the cross, *"the rose blooms in the center of the cross"*). > > **Forearms / arms:** *I Am Human* (outer forearm); *In Process* (inner forearm); a simple dotted **Tree of Life** (forearm near wrist); ~~*ME*~~ crossed out (*"it's not about me"*); *The Empty Mirror* (wrist, with a named book-source, Janwillem van de Wetering's *The Empty Mirror*); *All reality Is* (inside upper arm); *Remember you're alive* (inner upper arm); *Y* (elbow, *"you've gotta ask the question"*); *I'M NOT HERE* (side of forearm, *"but I'm also here"*); an **Ouroboros** (a circle with arrows, *"the snake eating itself but simpler,"* got with Little Luna); and a struck-through apophatic line, ~~*We know only a portion of the truth and what we say about god is always incomplete*~~, *"I messed up here so I crossed it out."* The crossing-out *performs* the apophasis: even the statement about God's incompleteness gets struck through. > > **Torso:** *If you forget who you are, you used to b* (chest, text appears cut off at "b"); *In service to all, in service to the one* (side of abdomen); *Lessons learned* (near a scar, lower chest); *Trust your guts* (lower abdomen); *Spaceship Eden* (top/back of shoulder, Eden as a *vehicle,* faint resonance with the descent/upload thread, don't overbuild); *Be* (front of shoulder, *"to remind me to be"*). > > **Throat / neck / clavicle / head:** *Fear* + *…Functions like Prayer in Reverse* (clavicle); `///` Power of Three (neck); *LISTEN* (below the ear, arrow to it). > > **Hands / back of arm:** *WAKE UP* (back of hand, Gurdjieff); and **KILL YOUR SELF**, stacked, on the back of the arm, *which he pointedly did not explain.* Read it the way his system reads everything else: **ego-death**, killing the *constructed* false self (consistent with ~~ME~~, the empty mirror that shows nothing, *"die before you die"*). His refusal to gloss it is itself notable. Do not read it literally; build nothing heavier on it. > > **A note on what is NOT here.** An earlier version of this page listed an *"I CAN'T FEEL"* mark on the back of the shoulder. It is not in the verified tattoo inventory and no photo confirms it, so it has been pulled rather than passed along as fact. If it surfaces confirmed later, it comes back in; until then, it stays out. Certainty is just a tone, not a truth, and this is one place worth being honest about the difference. > > **Why "Fear functions like Prayer in Reverse" is the prize.** It is the single cleanest grounding of the project's **inversion** principle, and it is on his body. Fear = inverted prayer = inverted faith, the exact mechanism the work assigns to Lucius (who runs by inversion, the inverted cross on his cheek). Fear is the reversed prayer; the shadow runs on it. > [!reading]- Three's Company (and the Slayer of the Real) > The Heart/Mind split is not a flat binary. In a 2026 IG Live on the Labours of Hercules, Roy lays out the full architecture: **instinct** (lower, animal) → **intellect** (the mind / Lucifer pole, *"higher," but not final*) → **intuition** (*"the god voice thing in here,"* super-consciousness) as the **synthesis** of the first two. The split resolves *upward* into a third term. He frames the same rise epistemically: *knowledge → understanding → wisdom,* with failure described as getting *"stuck in the abyss between worlds."* > > His *"the mind is the slayer of the real / we must slay the slayer"* is near-verbatim Blavatsky (*The Voice of the Silence*), which grounds the resolution as a *discipline,* serve and slay the mind-pole, rather than a war you win once. And the childlike→rational→return-to-childlike spiral he describes (kids *"are geniuses,"* then learn rational thought, then must go *back* to intuition) is the same shape: the mind is a necessary *step,* never the destination. Guard: his *instinct/intellect/intuition* triad shares a shape with Roy/Lucius/Ballerina-Boy but is a different register, don't collapse them onto each other. > [!map]- You Are Here (Probably) > *(A lens, never his stated intent. The page works without it.)* > > **The simple key (Roy's own): Netzach / Venus.** In the fundamentals-first character map Roy points to, he is **Netzach, Venus:** love, beauty, feeling, attraction, art, devotion; the heart. His symbol cluster follows from it: the [[The Dove|dove]] (named **Cygnus,** the Swan that flies the Milky Way, the Northern Cross, the descending spirit of love), the [[The Sword|sword]] (discernment, the clean cut of chosen action), and the heart itself. It sits opposite [[Sir Lucius]]'s **Hod / Mercury** intellect: heart against mind, Venus against Mercury. Lucius does not share these seats; he has no Venus and no Moon, that is the point of the opposition. The deeper Tree-of-Life readings are held even more loosely and live on [[Kabbalah - The Tree of Life]]; this page keeps only the simple association. > > **The lunar position (held loosely).** One framework reading places Roy on the lunar sefirot, the reflected vessel reaching toward the Sun (Tiferet / SOL) but never seated in it. Keep the direction of travel and drop the certainty: he reaches toward the Sun, he does not sit in it. *"The moon mistaking itself for the sun"* names the exact inflation-trap the whole arc is trying not to fall into. This is syncretic correspondence, never his stated intent, and it stays subordinate to the Netzach/Venus key above. > > **A water-line in the naming (framework).** One reading hears a sixteen-year water-line in his self-naming: *Eye Alaska* (2010, looking toward the shore) → *Subject to Flooding* (2018, being the flooded) → *"I am the shore, I am not the wave"* (2026, being the shore, [[Public Posts]]). Almost certainly retrospective continuity rather than an authored plan (chronology is a shape, not a blueprint), but a clean one. He is also a Gemini Sun, which literalizes *Jagwar Twin* and the **duality** he calls *"a lot of what Jagwar Twin is"*; his X bio runs *"🐆 ☉ There's two sides to every story ☉."* > [!lore]- Once Upon a LOOP > Treat this as authored myth, not literal claim. Roy's published *LOOP* arc runs: *"In the beginning there was the One. The One was divided"* → *"a shadow awoke, and the shadow was Sir Lucius"* → the war → *"Sir Lucius created his own Dark Circle within The Circle and the loop continued"* → *"My mind must serve my heart… the loop ends the moment you choose it"* → *"as the rose bloomed."* The resolution verb is **service,** integration, not destruction. His own glosses populate it: the green apple (knowledge plucked too soon), the rose (the heart revealed in the center of the cross), and the *"I am thee / Thou is Me"* nondual chant. > > The astrological substrate he names for *the aquarium*: *"a conjunction of Saturn, Jupiter, and Mars in the sign of Aquarius corrupted the air."* And the pre-incarnation frame in his cosmology, *"I trained with a God… now I gotta come do this Earth thing,"* with the *digital circus* as his own term for the machine. A year before *33* and three years before Lucius is named, the shadow-voice is already in his 2021 Discord poems: *"You're never gunna make it / Spoke the Shadow to the Light"* and the inherited *"A Darkness from my father's side."* The signature *"I'm the spider… the answers in a name"* threads the same name-as-cipher motif. > [!warning]- Devil's Advocate (Someone Has to) > The page's central frame is Roy's own press, and adopting it wholesale risks **circularity,** describing Roy using Roy's self-account. Three guards worth keeping: > > **The authentic self may also be authored.** *"Vulnerable, egoless Roy"* could be a curated counter-pole to *"Lucius the villain,"* both products. An artist who repeats *"I have become nothing,"* *"I am the shore"* is, after all, marketing a *brand* of egolessness. The heart/mind split might be a deliberate two-character *artistic device* rather than literal interior architecture; the falsifier would be Roy treating the Roy/Lucius distinction as pure stagecraft. Push the symmetry one step further and it gets properly vertiginous: in my opinion we are just as likely to find out the *Roy* character is a shadow too, a persona grown over the person the way Lucius grew over Roy. I would not bet against it. > > **He discounts his own authorship.** Roy describes songs as *"downloads,"* *"I didn't really write it… it felt given to me,"* *"The Circle seemed to write itself, I just got out of the way."* He pushes the same posture onto his own identity, *"done being a person, I'm just a vessel for God,"* *"I have become nothing."* This is his stated process, not just a metaphor: he *guards* the creative signal, saying on a public Instagram Live that he won't drink matcha while creating so nothing interferes with what's coming through, treating composition as reception, something received cleanly rather than manufactured. That receptivity *limits* how much intentional encoding can be laid at his feet, a built-in guard against over-reading. (It cuts the other way too: a man marketing a brand of egolessness has a clear incentive to call his own craft a *download.*) He even polices his own symbolism in public: *"I would map a crow onto Mercury but that's just personal. I don't recommend you do it."* > > **The missing keystone.** Roy names the *archetype* (mind = Lucifer) but has not, on record, explicitly called the *character* Sir Lucius "the mind" in his own voice. The link is strongly implied, not stated. Keep the seam visible, and if I ever sound sure about it, I am doing it wrong. > [!feed]- Feed Me, See More > More from the public feed (see [[Roy's Posts — Canon Index]] for the full set): > - *"My words have always been imperfect. I prefer to speak in images, or music, or to not speak at all."* · **10-19 '23** · Roy-voice doctrine stated in his own hand > - *"It's raining in LA again. Matt Pauling and I are back at it making music in paradise. I feel warm and fuzzy but my hands are cold. And now I'm going to make some tea. - Love RO/RA-Y"* · **02-24 '23** · the split self-signature; duality in the sign-off > - *"I'm a profit"* · **04-09 '23** · profit/prophet wordplay; the seer naming himself sideways > - *"Birthday notes 35 / In the past I've felt pretty down on my birthday. Every new trip around the sun, I'd look at my life and see myself largely as a failure."* · **05-22 '23** · direct voice on the floor-at-35 reckoning > - *"Love is still here. We will not let Fear overtake our hearts and spread like a"* · **10-12 '23** · Love vs Fear as cosmological forces, asserted over a collapsed promo moment > - *"Being an artist is becoming a warrior / Being a warrior is becoming an artist"* · **11-26 '23** · artist-warrior integration > [!receipts]- Source notes (the receipts) > **Grounded (his own life and words, publicly stated).** The biography comes from released songs and public interviews: *Brandon Roy Wronski,* born May 22 1988 (the Los Angeles / Orange County area; public sources give it both ways, so the page keeps the hedge rather than picking one), Roy English then Jagwar Twin, the bands (*Eye Alaska* confirmed; *Dead Letter Diaries* and *Canary Dynasty* cited with lower verification), the writing/production credits including Lana Del Rey and Alesso, the rock-bottom-at-thirty-five collapse, and the self-disclosed depression and anxiety. The origin beats are his own words too: the *"intense"* child who *"didn't know how to express myself in language,"* the Chain Reaction venue at thirteen, the *"make music or die trying"* line, and the *"misfit, an outcast"* self-description with its no-anger-at-the-bullies coda. The *ballerina-boy* wound is grounded because its key lines, including the father's *"there's nothing wrong with you, my son,"* are in the released song. The masks doctrine (*"we all walk around with these masks on… we're all human underneath"*), the mirror mission, *"my mind must serve my heart,"* the mind-as-Lucifer equation, *"the mind is the slayer of the real,"* the Manifesto's Algorithm substitution table (*"Feeling" → "Algorithm"*), the *33*-is-his-literal-age framing, and the Trojan-Horse thesis (*"infiltrate pop music and blast people with a healing frequency"*) are all directly quoted from interviews and posts. The commercial figures (10.2M listeners and 91M streams in 2025; the 100M-plus songs) are his own. > > **Studies and influences (grounded).** Roy keeps a public Instagram "Book Club," and the shelf maps where the cosmology comes from: Jung (*Modern Man in Search of a Soul,* *Man and His Symbols*); the *Hermetica* and the *Kybalion*; Kabbalah (William G. Gray's *The Ladder of Lights*); Joseph Campbell's *Hero with a Thousand Faces*; Dante's *Divine Comedy*; C. S. Lewis (*The Screwtape Letters,* *The Great Divorce,* *The Four Loves*); Jeremy Narby's *The Cosmic Serpent*; Paulo Coelho's *The Alchemist*; Kahlil Gibran's *The Prophet*; Neale Donald Walsch's *Conversations with God*; van de Wetering's *The Empty Mirror* (the named source of the wrist tattoo); and the Bible alongside the Vedas. Among the influences he has quoted publicly: **Gurdjieff** (his most-named, by 2025), Alan Watts, Rudolf Steiner, Éliphas Lévi, Blavatsky, Carl Jung, Neville Goddard, and da Vinci. A quick word on the traditions, since they spook people: theosophy, hermeticism, and the rest are essentially old library-and-lecture study cultures. The traditions aren't red flags. Specific organizations within them can be, which is a different conversation. One title is unusually telling for the rest of the cast: *The Screwtape Letters,* a senior devil instructing a junior tempter by mail, the manipulation always dressed as counsel, is the cleanest literary comparison point for [[Sir Lucius]]: the advisor who only ever tells the truth, deceptively. Not a source claim, just the nearest analogue, and it happens to be on his shelf. > > **Strong readings (well-supported interpretation, not stated as intent).** The body-as-mirror-diagram (a Tree of Life with the `+` as middle pillar); reading the buried ballerina boy as the thing the whole arc recovers and the adult dance as shadow-work; the *KILL YOUR SELF* tattoo as ego-death (he never explained it, held lightly); and Roy's receptive, *download*-style process as a limit on how much intentional encoding to attribute to him. > > **Framework-tier (esoteric, syncretic, a lens, never authorial intent).** The Netzach/Venus character-map, the lunar-position reading, the sixteen-year water-line self-naming arc, and the LOOP cosmology read as *authored mythology* rather than literal fact. Named historical or religious identifications drawn from the work (a Marian reading of *La Conquistadora,* the deeper SARAVI / Wise One questions) are interpretation, held openly, and kept as distinct figures unless a public source collapses them. > > **Open questions.** Does Roy *reach* the heart or only *serve* it? Does he escape the [[Concepts/The Loop and the Circle|Circle]], or learn to move differently inside it? Is *"authentic Roy"* itself an authored persona? Is the buried boy the same thing Mary is reaching toward? And the keystone the page is still waiting on: does Roy ever name Sir Lucius as "the mind" in his own voice? None of these are settled. That is not a bug in the page. That is the wager the project is still running. ## Read next - [[Sir Lucius]]: the mind that broke off; read these two together or not at all. - [[Mary]]: the blessing-voice that answers the childhood shaming. - [[Ballerina Boy]]: the song where the wound is sung. - [[Lucius Lullaby]]: the floor-of-the-bedroom song, and the album named for the shadow. - [[SOL]]: another good place to begin listening. - [[Concepts/The Jaguar]]: the lens he sees through. - [[The Mirror]]: his mission, his measure, and the platform built from it.